I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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