I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
