i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
