"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
