worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
