I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
