apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
