so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
