Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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