this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When are your genitals available?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
