his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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