oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
