I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
