Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
