do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
