Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
