She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize