Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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