i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
