i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
