Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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