How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Sober January is a disaster.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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