like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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