Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
