Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
