Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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