next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize