if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
