I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
