She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
