I don't think brook has ever known best
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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