who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
