there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
