I didn't shave. On purpose
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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