I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
