meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
