You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
