I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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