My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
