I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
