wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
