This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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