I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
