He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
