How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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