I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
