its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That accounts for only three of the penises
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
