we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize