did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
