question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
