we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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