Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
