$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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