So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
