She announced her abortion via fbk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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