So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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