I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
