I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
