Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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