It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
