Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
