I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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